I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
