I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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