Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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