Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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