OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
