If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
