I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize