She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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