i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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