And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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