You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
