hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
