TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
