And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
