capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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