she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize