Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Shitshow foam night was such a success
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
