I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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