I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
