oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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