When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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