Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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