Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
