He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
