its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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