I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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