i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize