dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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