Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
