I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
