idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
