We need to rekindle our bromance
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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