all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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