the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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