You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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