so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
