The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
