capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
