last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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