Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
