you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
