Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
