I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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