i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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