he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
