ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
