I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
