Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
