i just had sex bonerless
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
