i may or may not be watching the land before time
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
