Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
