u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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