well you can't waste a boner
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
