she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
