Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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