So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
