I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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