Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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