I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
