i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
