the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
