Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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