Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize