okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
