Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
