Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
