hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
