Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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