there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
