No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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